Closer

I can't expect things to change right away.

I can't expect things to be completely normal.

But I can hold on.

I can hold on to faith and trust and understand that I might get hurt.

I can hold on to my knowledge and not just my emotions.  I can hold onto how much I have learned and how much I have grown and how much progress I have seen.  Just tonight he made that extra effort to apologize to my face for not paying attention.  He didn't forget about it or put it out of his mind.  The way he looked at me.... the way he ran his fingers through my hair the way he knows makes me melt and then kissed me.  The way he took charge.  The way he smiles at me and makes those sweet little laughs to himself and always brushes them off when I ask him why, but just grins at me and pulls me closer.  The way I now he is trying and I can see him trying. The way he gives me goosebumps and the way he makes me completely content when we are lying on the couch together watching a movie. The way he is showing me that he loves me.

I need to remember that this doesn't have to mean forever.  I need to remember that this is not the end of the world and its not the start of a new one.  I need to remember the joy he has given me and realize that it's okay for things to change.  It's okay for us to struggle.  And it's okay to make mistakes that won't harm us in the long run.

That man is loved so much.