Oh my wonderful Jesus, may my eyes be ever fixed upon You!
Jesus come quickly, for Your children are weeping.
Jesus come gently, for Your daughters are weak.
Jesus come wisely, for our enemy is prowling.
Jesus, You are my warrior;
the One in whom all of my confidence must be found.
But oh, how often do I seek the approval of man when Yours is the only one that lasts!
To hear You whisper softly,
"Well done, my good and faithful servant,
my precious daughter.
You have made my day, my beautiful princess."
Oh that, that is the aim of my life.
Jesus I know only an infinitesimally small amount about who You really are...
I want to know more!
Oh Jesus, my precious Jesus!
Would I have been the woman who anointed your head with fragrant perfume before You were brutally crucified for my grotesque sins?
Or would I have been the once-loyal Judas who turned you in for 30 pieces of silver - about $21.60?
$21.60?!
Surely not I!
As quickly as those words come out of my mouth I realize their weight and I try to catch them,
but they slip through my weak fingers and slam against this page.
Oh, those words my mind uttered, so bitterly familiar.
Were those not the exact words that Judas used when You announced that a betrayer was among You and Your disciples?
Were those not the exact words that Peter swore by before he thrice denied even knowing You?
I am the betrayer, unaware of the heights my pride will soar with my reputation on its wings.
I am the narcissistic deceiver, unable to acknowledge the selfishness that consumes me or the deceptions I use even upon myself.
And aren't those the plights of man: pride and selfishness?
How quick I am to justify my sin.
How swift are my feet to run to evil,
and how keen are my eyes to look for trouble.
And yet...
You love me.
I don't understand this love that you are.
I cannot describe it in any other way than the glowing light that has nestled itself into the very depths of my soul.
There, no one, no man, no demon, no evil, can ever touch.
There, you reside.
$21.60 was the worth that you held in Judas' mind.
Who am I to say that I would not have fallen in the same footsteps?
Who am I to say that I would not have denied you 3 times after an adamant profession of the opposite? Who am I to say there would not be a fourth?
For $21.60, I nailed you to the cross.
For $21.60, I chose myself over You.
21 dollars and 60 cents: the monetary amount that lead to the biggest pay-off in the history of man-kind.
Oh what a Savior we have!
