This summer has been full of swirls...
of blue, foaming hills dusted with sand and green, frothy mounds cascading upon my toes.
Back and forth they came and went, ever faithful, ever present.
This summer has been full of light...
of hot, steaming beams shooting down to earth and soft, gentle whispers of heat tickling my neck awakening new freckle after new freckle.
But this summer has been full of spirals...
of crippling despair and heartbreaking loneliness; of bad habits and desperation, lacking motivation.
And this summer has bee full of darkness...
of no sense of direction when the way had seemed so clear and no way to see the next step.
This summer has been so different.
I long for a sweet caress and a gentle kiss...
for a sweet nuzzle and a quiet whisper;
for strong arms to hold me tight when the spirals plummet further into the darkness;
to be loved and wanted.
That's what I long for, what every girl longs for.
It comforts me to know that I cannot keep God out of my writing.
No matter what I do, my mind comes back to Him, no matter how far it wanders. If only I could stop it from wandering, and wandering dangerously at that.
It comforts me to know that my God always pushed His way back into my life because he WANTS to be there ven after I show him repeatedly the things I have chose over him subconsciously and, yes, eve consciously. It is so terribly humbling when one is brought to that realization and with that realization, their knees to the floor.
My God, you are so merciful, it is beyond anything I could even attempt to describe, being the scribbling savant that I am. You are pure, you are good, you are raw, and you are so real!
As I drift off tonight, I am thankful that you give me the bliss of sleep and I am even more thankful that you choose to wake me up each and every morning. I love you, oh my God, and you have all of me.
